it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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