just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
