sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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