fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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