the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Is Oprah even human
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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