i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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