i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
