craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
