Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need moral support for this bender
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
