This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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