I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
