You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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