did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
did you just send me my own nude
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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