we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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