the day after is always just damage control
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
