okay pat passed out under dana's car
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
