The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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