First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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