Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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