I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
