Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
