i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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