Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
