Rock
Scissors
Fuck
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
