watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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