NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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