I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
