we have pet lesbian snakes
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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