We're facebook friends in real life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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