after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
