Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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