i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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