Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
