I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
