I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
