I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
