I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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