He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
