I don't think brook has ever known best
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
