I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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