Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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