I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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