Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
