Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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