I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
