I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
