i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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