My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
