Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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