Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think my fart just growled at me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I didn't notice because vodka
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
