I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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