dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
