I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize