well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
