He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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