Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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