Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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