I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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