People in love make me want to vomit
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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