i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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