grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
