Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
