are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
