you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
